Dear Friends

Dear Friends skin description

*DISCLAIMER - for all that will be viewing this other than the three people as to which it is directed: I am aware that you may not be the biggest fan of any public displays of what you may think of as affection or maybe even 'drama'. You are completely free to skip the following words in this description, and I do hope that you like this skin. It may not be the most original or complex of skins that you'll see, but do know that it means a lot to me and trust me when I say a ~lot~ of time and thought has been put into it. It will be the last skin that I ever submit, so go ahead and feel free to leave any positive/negative feedback in the comments. Under the circumstances it is likely I will not see it but somehow, and somewhere, it is appreciated. I hope that you have an amazing night/day wherever you are in the world, and enjoy.* To the 3 people that have shaped my entire life and me as a person, I don't even know where to start. You have all impacted me in a way I can't say that anyone has before, and oddly enough you've affected me more now than you did when we were together. I can confidently state there hasn't been a day that's gone by that I have not thought about each and every one of you. Now, before you get upset and start noting that it is indeed my own fault things are the way they are now I suppose I should make a few things known. I am not here to in any way blame anyone for anything, nor am I here to start babbling out apologies profusely for things I have and haven't done. It's possible that none of you will even see this/take the time to read it all, and I am completely content without knowing the answer to if you have or have not. I do not expect this to make you all come to me and invite me back to a place that I originally left on my own, which I am also completely aware of. This is not to ~shove anything in your faces~, and it is not to ask for any apologies whatsoever. That being said, I think I can now say that this is me, coming on here, publicly, where I know that is likely for you all to see it without being completely direct and saying how I feel in hopes of gaining some sort of closure before I go. As I said before this isn't something I expect for you to come to me and 'invite' me back, but know that I'm not entirely opposed to try and mend things. I love you. I love all of you with everything those words can mean and it's up to you whether or not you believe that now, I don't blame you if you do not. I regret lots of things I've said to all of you, one of you in particular that over a period of years I could have, should have done and been better for and it is the one thing that I will apologize for. I know that we all had our banters, our fights, our wrongdoings and we all had our turn to say sorry on more than one occasion. I've left before, but I think that the difference this time is that I knew there was not going to be any more sorry's, no more forgiving, and I knew that I am better off gone. It doesn't matter much really, but the past months without you all have been rough to say the least. I'm not sure what I was thinking really, maybe that I didn't need friends or that I could just find new ones that didn't ~argue as often~. It isn't until lately I've come to realize that friends who don't argue aren't real, and that it is stupid of me to think that even if they were that they could ever replace any of you. Too many times have I sat at my desk in a time that I would normally be talking with you all on the phone and laughing, either at each other or something else and I just stare at my hands and I miss you. I miss all of you, I always will and it's important to me that regardless of what happens you know that. I cry as I write this and I know that I'll cry however long from now it is that I re-read this and decide to actually post it (over a month now). As for the skin all I can say is that I know it's not the best, I can't tell you all how many times I've changed the style and outfit and colors a billion times trying to get it just right and it still isn't enough. The only thing I haven't changed is the flowers, and I hope you all know why. I know that this was probably too much, too 'deep', cringey, and too personal for me to post on here publicly but given that I'll never be on this account again and maybe never Minecraft as well it doesn't matter much to me. I'm sorry if this upsets any of you in any way, and I'll be within contact on kik only within the following week for sure. I can't guarantee anything after that and for that I am sorry. Remember I don't expect anything out of any of you from this at all. I love you, everything about all of you and the biggest message I can try to get across now is thank you; Thank you for cheering me up when I was down, convincing me to join you even if I didn't feel like it. Thank you for doing your best to keep me away from bad things and people. Thank you for being there for me, always, no matter the things I've said to you that I didn't always mean. Thank you for listening to me to complain, get angry, and vent about all the things that never mattered and the things that did. Thank you for teaching me things I would have never otherwise known without you, silly or not. Thank you for being the closest to making me feel like I am not always so bad. Thank you for showing me what the word friend really means and how friends are supposed to be. Thank you for a million other things I'll never be able to list all in this description. Thank you for being the family I always wanted, but will never be enough to keep. You never know what you got till it's gone.