Expectations

Expectations skin description

OH GOD FEELINGS WHY?!?! .. Ahem. I've wanted to do something like this for a while. Dunno why. Here goes. For a while, my life has been.. something. I'm not "#blessed" or anything, and I'm not living the worst life imaginable. It's just not as super as I would like it to be. I've encountered what I believe are called "expectations." If I were to walk up to a blind person who didn't know me, I'd put on a sort of facade, in a sense. I'd act happy, cheerful, friendly, bubbly, dorky, etc. I'd enthuse about sports, note how smart I am, wish I had that cool looking Bugatti Veyron or something. That's what I put on the right side. However, what that person doesn't know is who I really am. I'm not super smart. I am a total nerd, a weeaboo if you will. I love anime, I draw anime, and I practically breathe anime. I am, admittedly, semi-violent from time to time. I have a tendency to think in the negatives, in the past tense. I'm up at night, dog tired in the day. The sun is my worst enemy. ADHD (I still call it ADD) makes me focus.. not so much, which sucks at school.Even if I try to be, I'm not super smart, and if you give me a set of directions, I probably won't be able to follow them all to perfection. This is the left side. But what people would expect of me is to always thing positive, always be happy, never ever EVER be sad and gloomy. If that were true, I'd have no reason to do this. It's not true. It's like a mask, covering my real self (woah, man.. Disney movie stuff right here.) People think that I love sports, that I'm super athletic, super smart, super rich, your stereotypical protagonist. In reality, I'm probably one of those side characters, or maybe one of the characters who gets into serious trouble one time, the hero comes and saves them, then they don't show up again for the next, like, 3 seasons. Why people assume is beyond me. When I was littler, I used to think it was because the people I've met are all crazy, and are seeing, hearing, and believing in a mirage. I thought that someday, maybe people would finally snap out of their hallucinations and see me for me. Well, in the past, I was wrong. Now, things have changed. I'm starting to embrace myself a little more. There are still things I'd rather not have that are part of me, but if I don't have those, then I'm becoming the mirage that everyone wants me to be. People actually see through my facade, and get to know the really, really, really real me. It's nice to know people don't want you to be someone else. That's like your parents walking up to you saying "I wish you were Bill Gates and not the trash you are now." It hurts. But now I'm getting "Forget Bill Gates, I want you to be you." And that feels great. The only thing is, not everyone is like this. There are still some people who are blind to reality. To those kinds of people: wake up. The world isn't perfect, and perfection is no fun when you think about it. Flaws make us human, make us people, give us a personality. The world doesn't consist of Mary and Gary Sues. It's made up of Billy and Barbara, Mitchell and Sarah, Joe and Isabelle, Pablo and Candice, and more. Plus, if you see others like this, then you aren't perfect either. To those who think past the mirages, congrats. You truly see people for who they are, and the world needs more of you. So don't try to be Kim Kardashian or Lebron James or whatever. Be you. And just so you know, if you think everyone else sees a mirage, someone who they want you to be, there's always someone who actually sees you for the really, really, really real you. That's what I've learned. It's time for everyone else to learn. Okay, first things first, sorry. I am more than 90% sure that people hate these kind of "ugh life is dumb people are dumb and my life sux" things. That's not what I intend it to be, but if it sounds that way, oh well. Second, if this hits close to home, like if you've had people think of you in a way that made you feel like you need to be someone you're not, then this is really to say you're not alone, and we can get through this (seriously Disney, take notes. This could be the next Inside Out or something.) Third, if you are like the people who I've described as the "mirage-seers", this is not meant as hate, this is meant as a lesson. Please don't hate me for doing this. Had a bad day, felt like venting, but didn't want to seem super gloom-and-doomy, so I spun it to be good (i hope). See you when I decide to post again. ~Fanta