negative thoughts

negative thoughts skin description

experimental skin ik doesn't seem like a negative-ish skin but it's not my point. I'm more into cute and cuddly things, ok. so the point of this skin was to experiment on my choice of colour and the colours I use to shade. but another point of this skin was to express what I've been thinking throughout my whole life, actually. you can read about it in the spoiler below vvv sum spoilaI'm a really happy-go-lucky person (hence the skin looking cute), but deep inside, I'm kinda.. I'm kinda thinking about bad things (i.e, trying out torture and actually murdering someone). This is a result of a part of me wanting everyone to stop living and just die out. I could be the good Robin or the bad one. The bad one rarely comes out but when she does, there's no way I can stop it. I've been having these thoughts ever since this one person came into my life (thank god he's outta my life now; but these thoughts keep on coming), they usually say my name a lot of times and smile like a maniac every time they see me. I hated the bad vibes coming from them. I hated the creepy smile they greet me with. It was a terrifying experience to a 7-year-old me at the time and I had actually thought of murdering that person so that person wouldn't bother me anymore. I thought about throwing my heavy bag onto that person and smashing their face with my text books. I couldn't help but be terrified by the person every time they appear and tell me "Long time no see". At the same time it was terrifying, it was also pretty annoying to the loner kid I was. Other than that person, I've actually thought about throwing scissors at a bully that randomly picked on me. I hated the way the bully treated me. I hated the words he said to me. And at that time, extermination was the only long word I could say. I felt like I should just murder off the people I hated the most in my life. I felt like doing genocide. I hate it when people repeat things. I hate it when people say my name out loud. I hate it when people bother me too many times. I practically hated every single thing when that one person came into my life. I tried hiding from him, but he usually found out. I just wanted him to stop. I just wanted him to die. I just wanted him to just go away. I didn't care about what his children might feel when I kill him off. I was actually scared of him. When I was 7, I knew nothing about Stranger Danger and I just said hi. AND AFTER THAT HE STARTED BOTHERING ME EVERY SINGLE DAY. I felt like it was enough. I wanted him to just go away and bother another person. Basically I've got a short temper and I don't usually show it. I only think negative thoughts. Thank you for reading, I really needed to express what I feel. hope you like the skin uwu