Soggy-Bread-Man!

Soggy-Bread-Man! skin description

When Germ Wheat was born doctors noticed there was something very peculiar about him: His face was made of bread! There was no scientist that could explain this biological anomaly, because both his parents seemed very healthy, and not bread-like at all. They honestly didn't care too much about finding out how this happened, because they couldn't see this bringing any benefit to anyone. It was just really disturbing that a baby was born with a bread face. Of course this headlined in the news for a week or so, but then everyone forgot about it after Starbucks reveled their new 'Goblin Frappuccino'. All was pretty much forgotten about Germ Wheat. Germ was hidden from society by his parents who were afraid of people trying to eat him, but eventually sent him to a public elementary school after reading about public school benefits in a Buzzfeed article. While in elementary school Germ was bullied. People called him names like "Wheat-head" and "Worst part of a PB&J". one day a bully sprayed water in his face and made his head all soggy! The ridicule continued through middle-school and high-school, he was never even able to get his driver's license because each time he took the driving test, the person grading him would just call him "Stinky Soggy Bread Boy". Eventually stopped once Germ went to college. The reason the ridicule stopped is because Germ actually went to his classed, so he never came into contact with any of his peers. When he wasn't doing homework, or in class, he was grinding away like a mad man! He was eating tons of protein powder and never stopped his grind! He was always wearing sweatpants, because his motto was "The sweatier, the bettier", which didn't make much sense.. but it totally helped him get jacked! Because he didn't have a license, he ran everywhere! Germ wasn't doing this for nothing, oh no, he had a plan.. Once Germ came out of college he became.. Soggy Bread Man! What does he do, you ask? Well.. he goes around to the meanest people he can find within a five-mile radius and sprays their bread with his super spray gun (which is just a dollar-store water gun) every time they're about to use it! Why did he need to get jacked for this? Well, I can't really tell you that much, maybe it just makes him feel justified to be a superhero. Currently he's going after banking company CEO's because his student loans are pretty high, and he just wants to get their bread wet. If you're an evil-doer, prepare.. to eat soggy bread! (if you live within a 5-mile radius of Soggy Bread Man).